By Rabbi Rachel Esserman

What if you could change one thing in your life? You could prevent an illness or an accident and save the life of someone you love. Or make a different decision about who to marry or what job to take. The catch is that you only have one do-over. That means you have no way of knowing whether you’ll regret making the change you’ve made because your life didn’t get better. Or you’ll later wish you’d waited because you need that redo to undo something else. Or, perhaps, you’ll wait too long and then regret the change you didn’t make. These questions underlie Rebecca Serle’s latest novel “Once and Again” (Atria Books). All of Serle’s works contain an aspect of magical realism: everything in her novels could happen in real life except for one important element. In the case of Lauren, her mother Marcella and her grandmother Sylvia, it’s that they received a silver ticket when they were born, one that allows them one do-over.
The women received this gift because of an act of kindness Lauren’s great-grandmother Irina performed for an old, poor woman. The family has been living in Ukraine at a time of increasing anti-Jewish violence and the first ticket was used to undo a horrific event. Irina kept the wooden box the ticket came in even after she used it and moved to the United States. With the birth of each new generation (one daughter and one ticket for each of the women), a new ticket appeared. Lauren knows that Marcella used the ticket to save the life of Dave, her husband and Lauren’s father, after a car accident. Sylvia not only refuses to say what she did with her ticket, but has never revealed the identity of Marcella’s father or the reason for her frequent disappearances when Marcella was growing up.
The novel focuses on two different relationships: Lauren’s with her husband, Leo, and the connections/disconnections between the three generations of the women in her family. Lauren loves Leo, but their marriage has hit a rocky path because her attempts to become pregnant have not been successful. Leo is ready for them to stop the fertility treatments because he feels the treatments are negatively impacting their life. However, Lauren is unable to give up her dream for a child and worries one reason she can’t conceive is because she was in her 30s when she finally married. Then Leo is offered a chance to advance his career, but needs to live in New York City for several months in order for that to happen. Rather than travel with him to New York, Lauren decides to spend the summer with her parents and grandmother at the house in Malibu in which she grew up. While there, her old flame, Stone, reappears. He returned to Malibu to spend time with his stepmother who is dying. Stone seems to regret their break-up, saying that maybe he should have never moved away. That leaves Lauren wondering about the decisions she made then, including the fact that she might have been able to have a baby if she and Stone had stayed together. 
The novel’s other focus is on the two mother/daughter relationships. Readers learn about the characters from three different points of view, although the main focus is on Lauren. For example, while Lauren knows Marcella loves her, she wonders at times if her mother actually likes her. Marcella is so focused on Dave, the husband she almost lost and the health problems he still faces, that she seems distant and uninterested in Lauren’s life, at least, from Lauren’s point of view. Unlike many children, Lauren wants her mother to pry into her life, but also can’t bring herself to talk to her mother about her fertility problems. Marcella, on the other hand, has tried to provide Lauren with the stability that was missing in her childhood, but, at the same time, offer her the freedom that Sylvia experienced. 
While this might sound as if the novel doesn’t contain a great deal of plot, the opposite is true. All these character interactions lead to several plot twists and turns, ones that may take readers by surprise. Readers will then find themselves re-examining their reaction to the different characters’ actions. It will also leave them wondering about some additional questions the novel raises: If you use the ticket to correct a mistake, does that mistake still count? If you have to return far into the past to change something, what might you lose as well as gain? Are there times when what seems like an unhappy ending is the best choice you can make?
“Once and Again” is a powerful, beautifully written work. Serle does an excellent job portraying her characters’ emotions and making them feel real to readers. The novel also offers a great deal to ponder, making it an excellent work for book clubs. Fans of Serle will not be disappointed and readers new to her work will find much of interest. 
The Reporter reviews of three of Serle’s previous novels can be found at www.thereportergroup.org/opinion/off-the-shelf-family-friends-and-love-by-rabbi-rachel-esserman-362915; www.thereportergroup.org/book-reviews/off-the-shelf-reviewing-the-past-9-9-22; and www.thereportergroup.org/book-reviews/off-the-shelf-dealing-with-life-and-romance.