By Rabbi Rachel Esserman

Family dynamics and relationships are complicated in ways that other connections often are not. One wrong move can forever sour a connection, leaving at least one person bereft when their mistake/misstep is never forgiven. Two recent works of fiction explore different family dynamics: “This Is Not About Us” by Allegra Goodman (The Dial Press) and “Evening Begins the Day” by Jessica Brilliant Keener (Koehler Books). Readers may have different reactions to the characters’ actions depending on whether they believe someone’s offense was justified or should be forgiven.
“This Is Not About Us” is labeled fiction, which fits because it is really a collection of stories, rather than a novel, about different members of the Rubenstein family. The first story, “Apple Cake,” sets up the conflict that underlies many of the following stories. Sylvia and Helen are at a loss when their baby sister, Jeanne, is dying. Juggling their personal preference with what they each think their sister would want, one sister does something the other considers unforgivable and afterward wants nothing to do with her. What was done may surprise readers so it won’t be revealed here, but it will certainly lead to differing options about the offense. What makes this story stand out is that Goodman also offers the point of view of the dying sister, which allows readers to see how her concerns differ from those of the relatives visiting her.
An outsider’s point of view makes the story “Wendybird” an excellent reflection on family dynamics. Jill is married to Wendy, Helen’s daughter. Helen’s other daughter, the unmarried Pam, has mental health issues and has ignored a gift sent to her by her sister. Jill finds Helen and the rest of the family suffocating, but spends time with them to protect Wendy from parents who prefer and baby her younger sister. In a wonderful section, Jill proves just how much she cares about her wife. This story also contains a brilliant line about Jewish life: that imagining disasters is a “Jewish superpower.” 
“This Is Not About Us” contains 17 stories, so it is impossible to write about them all, but every story was consistently well done, with not only interesting moments, but great insight into the characters. Anyone who thinks their family drama is special will be particularly interested in “Redemption Song,” when Jeanne’s sons Steve and Dan show just how different are their ideas of how Passover should be celebrated. “The Days of Awe” contains a very moving visit to a cemetery, while also showing how the holiday is not particularly meaningful to the youngest members of the family. Goodman’s ability to capture moments of joy, sorrow and regret is extremely impressive.
While “This Is Not About Us” is a collection of short stories, “Evening Begins the Day” is a novel that offers the viewpoints of a variety of characters. The plot mostly centers around two women: Rachel Cohen, who learns that her husband has been having an emotional affair (that means there was no sexual contact), and Cynthia Meyers, whose seemingly perfect family has its own problems. When Rachel decides to separate from her husband so she can explore whether she wants to remain married, she moves into a rental house by the Meyers. The two women know each other – Cynthia works for a corporate giving firm that has funded Rachel’s latest educational project – but they are not friends.
Cynthia’s life is upended when she comes home to find her daughter, Lauren, unresponsive. Lauren, who has been skipping school because she has been involved in political causes, has also been smoking pot and drinking, which left Cynthia worried that Lauren had overdosed. Cynthia’s 911 call leads to a breakdown in family relationships, with Lauren resenting her mother and Cynthia’s husband, David, being less than supportive of his wife.
David does have a practical suggestion about how all of them might be able to connect to their feelings: the synagogue is offering information on counting the omer, the days between Passover and Shavuot. The version they use is a kabbalistic one, which offers different ways of thinking about the world and themselves. While the Meyers family tries to reconnect by counting together, their efforts are not always a success. Rachel does her own count, even going on a retreat focusing on the omer; the small group of women there share the difficulties they have faced in life and how they deal with them. Rachel uses this time to decide whether her marriage is worth saving. Unfortunately, the counting of the omer didn’t always feel integral to the plot; it felt more tacked on, rather than part of the characters’ religious lives. 
“Evening Begins the Day” lends itself to discussion as readers decide which characters are following the correct path. I had a great emotional response to the work because I felt Cynthia’s family was unfair to her. Yes, she is far from perfect, but no one seems to understand how her reactions are based on her early life. Plus, she was afraid her daughter was dying: how wrong was it to call 911? That seems to be something neither Lauren nor David understand. However, my reaction just shows how involved I was with the plot and the characters. That makes this an excellent work for book clubs.